I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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