she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
wow bdsm is so cute
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
