She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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