i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
