i wish my penis had a tongue
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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