I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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