he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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