i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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