what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
