What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just had sex bonerless
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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