and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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