We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
