So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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