My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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