they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I did not marry a roomba.
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