i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
