...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
