Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
