my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
