I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
