dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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