I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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