Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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