I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
