How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But break dance skills will only take you so far
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts