3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
