Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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