I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
