I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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