Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT