we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous