Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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  (401): I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls. http://tfl.nu/rm2y
  Replies (35) Good night (3498) Bad night (1043)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  but i totally would still bang him

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  (708): i effin hate jeff goldbloom. (708): but i totally would still bang him http://tfl.nu/w2kp
  Replies (32) Good night (1703) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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  (918): My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it... http://tfl.nu/dlfs
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (4595)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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  (706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j
  Replies (23) Good night (6089) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story

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  (734): she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story http://tfl.nu/o2hn
  Replies (12) Good night (6392) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  (570): I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up. http://tfl.nu/kls9
  Replies (14) Good night (1274) Bad night (4008)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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  (810): was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/die2
  Replies (5) Good night (3084) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2918) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.

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  (713): We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager. http://tfl.nu/qy4e
  Replies (11) Good night (2651) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.

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  (248): I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set. http://tfl.nu/xzj6
  Replies (6) Good night (1865) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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  (603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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  (303): Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night. http://tfl.nu/q0n9
  Replies (7) Good night (1243) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"

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  (920): Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!" http://tfl.nu/2v59
  Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool

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  (403): Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool http://tfl.nu/mskr
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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  (248): I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face http://tfl.nu/fni1
  Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (356)

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