youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
