I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids