Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  "it" just moved

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  (949): "it" just moved http://tfl.nu/94mg
  Replies (10) Good night (790) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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  (905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7
  Replies (125) Good night (5808) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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  (305): I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez" http://tfl.nu/8edj
  Replies (18) Good night (6985) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.

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  (320): That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying. http://tfl.nu/lgsw
  Replies (30) Good night (4092) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

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  (321): The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers. http://tfl.nu/lnvf
  Replies (22) Good night (5895) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

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  (401): My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vsf5
  Replies (9) Good night (3634) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

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  (807): I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight? http://tfl.nu/7h08
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (3826)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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  (919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd
  Replies (15) Good night (5467) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!

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  (336): All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts... (1-336): Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER! http://tfl.nu/l2ol
  Replies (3) Good night (1457) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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  (919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa
  Replies (3) Good night (2046) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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  (910): Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap. http://tfl.nu/jw87
  Replies (4) Good night (1369) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1673) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.

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  (920): Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/js17
  Replies (6) Good night (1396) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.

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  (276): Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well. http://tfl.nu/93p0
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.

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  (973): I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early. http://tfl.nu/apcg
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (325)

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