How drunk are you??
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?