real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She bit a glass in half.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.