How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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