Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
