we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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