If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
