remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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