Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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