I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
