I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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