go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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