they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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