I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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