Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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