My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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