she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you inspire me to be a worse person
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize