i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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