i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
