Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
