I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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