Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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