So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You made out with two different species that night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
