even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
