I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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