just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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