gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
