Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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