thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize