I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
