shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Even my vagina gasped.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
