Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
