ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
