Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
