look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
