Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
