those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
